There is a lot of discussion these days about whether "social media" is actually "social." In fact, there is growing evidence that greater reliance on social media is making us more antisocial in our behavior, and adding to our feelings of loneliness. However you slice it, you can't get away from the looming sense that the more connected we've become, the greater our sense of alienation has grown.
I just read an article in The Atlantic on the impact of Facebook in all this, and it brought up some interesting research. One was that the lonelier someone felt, the more time he/she would spend on Facebook. And when they spent more time on Facebook, the more disconnected and isolated they would feel. What seems to be happening is that when one reads about all the cool things other people are doing with their lives, the more depressed they became about their own lives.
Another researcher noted that those people who tend to use Facebook in a "non-personal" way -- scanning for updates of other people, reading what other people post -- have a greater tendency to feel lonely, versus those who use Facebook in a more "personal" way -- leaving comments on their friend's dog's pictures, liking someone else's status update, etc..
Clearly, there are limits to what Facebook can and cannot do, and it would be a poor substitute for real friendships and real "in the flesh" connections with people. Some of this criticism is brought on by Facebook itself. Words like "friends", "like", are connection- and emotion-laden terms, and we have all scoffed at someone mistaking their Facebook friendship count for true social capital. Alternately, everyone has had those awkward moments when someone you barely met now wants to be your "friend." But what seems to be happening is that our ultra-connected times are exposing some dark tendencies of the human heart -- depression, narcissism, loneliness, superficiality...
I am not espousing going back in time; social media is here to stay. So then, how then do you approach things like Facebook? Any advice on how to grow 'true' community and friendships in our times? What are your standards for "friends"?
I have to go post about this blog on Facebook now. ;-)
It's sad but I'm one of those people who feel depressed about my own life sometimes going through the pages on Facebook. I actually really try to stay away from Facebook in terms of spending too much time on other people's pages. But there have been times that I've had face to face conversations with people who I normally wouldn't have much to talk about because they said they read something on my Facebook. I'm a homebody by nature so it's easy for me to pull away from people. But I know when to reach out too. For me, I approach Facebook the same way. I withdraw when it's too much and reach out when I want to keep in contact with people I genuinely care about.
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